It’s a sin to talk about toilets, but I have a special interest in the decline of great civilizations, and it’s always the detail that matters as Sherlock Holmes would say – so I must continue.

we are told that Rome fell as a result of too many sex orgies and something called ‘tripe’ (‘Asterix The Gladiator’ p17) as well as lead poisoning from their plumbing.  In America, it quickly became clear that there was something most peculiar about their toilets,… they seemed to signify something devilishly important but I couldn’t know for sure.

We assumed our 1st American toilet was simply blocked – so disconcertingly high and close was the natural water level to our arses. but a few more toilets into the trip told us this was a new system altogether. The other big difference was that on flushing, the mighty lake of water would turn gently into a whirlpool (in a counterclockwise direction being in the Northern hemisphere) and then disappear almost without a sound as it began its journey to an even worse hell. Strange and hypnotically revolting to watch. I couldnt look away

As our journey went on it began to sort of make sense that America (with its unique diet) should be at the forefront of any toilet design breakthrough. Their great advance in design, as far as I could tell, is that its discrete. The concept is simple and brilliant; Think of a ship being launched from a dry-dock – its stern already so near the ocean as to barely cause a ripple. And the flush is so quiet that an American can exit a public toilet in the quiet confidentce that no-one has guessed what he’s been up to in the room marked ‘Roosters/Hens’.

While their economy has been slipping away from them, the Americans have at least been perfecting the silent toilet. Meanwhile supposedly civilized nations elsewhere have people returning to their tables shamefaced after an undignified synchronising of taps with the flush and lighting matches. it’s outrageous

America certainly has all the feel and look of a fallen empire and its not surprising given the amount of trans-fat they consume. After only a few days of eating there we wondered how they could even get up in the morning. But I am also one of the people who feels hopeful that the new president will get them back on top. I hope so,… those Chinese leaders seem alittle rough to me. id rather die on the open street as a crack addict than be lashed for information in a cell. The Americans are still the goodies as far as Im concerned – they just need a good nights sleep and a piece of fruit.

PS The Blue Mountains Festival over the weekend was brilliant. It is reliably one of the very best small music festivals going in Australia – run by a true music lover – Bob Charter. My highlight was Archie Roach and his partner Ruby joining Paul Kelly on stage for ‘From Little Things…’

King Curly, “The Fall and Rise of King Curly”
It’s almost embarrassing how charmed I was by this band. They are weiiiiird, but in such an under-stated way it’s endearing. First, this Australian quartet sings about forlorn bumblebees and “coming back as a revenge song.” But they do it in such a Mr. Rogers meets Tiny Tim meets Jeff Buckley way that the sentimentality borders on the surreal. Any American or Brit doing this material would seem tongue-in-cheek, but I swear I think they mean it.

Secondly, the instrumentation (weird anachronistic box of a Ukulele, trombone, upright bass, electric guitar, and four, count them – 4 voices.) Now in America, this would seem like another band trying to one-up Dave Matthews by adding horns, so they can stand apart from the average (rock?) band. But it’s so second-nature to this act; and of course, they swap instruments too – and well.

But CDs are about songs. And this ensemble has them. Lofty melodies, “outside-the-lines” harmonies, and unusual lyrics that are literate and affecting. Seeing this group perform was a rejuvenating breath of fresh air, and the CD will remain a lasting treasure. “The Rise and Fall of King Curly”- it’s brilliant. Check out their dark and extremely well-done videos if you aren’t sold.

articles and tips from Fran Snyder and concertsinyourhome.com

http://www.concertsinyourhome.com/blog/archives/325

On the plane to Memphis I found myself sitting between a farmers daughter on one side and a silver-haired southern lady on the other. It was a welcome first taste of the famous Southern friendliness and I noted the special glee they got in telling me that Memphis was statistically the most dangerous place in America – It is abit like the way we love telling visitors about our snakes & sharks I suppose.  Sure enough a few days later whilst walking with Zoe not far from Beale Street, a large man sidled up and whispered into my ear that he had a knife and would dearly love to stab me with it (unless certain conditions were met).  Zoe gave him $1 and so she now likes to tell people she saved my life.

In this photo which Rob took in a bargain store in Mississippi  – Zoe was directed to this attractive ladies gun while John and I were recommended something more befitting a natural born target. KC